I’m already like halfway through and my progress is just sad. I’ve barely touched my humanities class, I haven’t built a single model in weeks. I haven’t even built a final, good model in like a month. I should be building one/improving one every day. I can’t even seem to get the first one due tonight started and I’ve been up all night on 50 mg Vyvanse. Just popped my second one and I’d still rather write on Tumblr than do design work.
I love designing. Honestly. I love the feeling of getting halfway through a model and knowing exactly what I want to happen for the rest of it. I love sensing other design students’ admiration of my work and aspiring to learn some of my design techniques. (the ones I can’t really even explain myself). What I love most, even more than designing, is developing a strong concept to provide an even more powerful visual understanding of what I’ve put together.
I used to be terrified of developing a concept. Last semester in Design III, Szutenbach would single us out around the table in front of the whole class and make us develop a concept for a project on the spot. I’d choke up, my eyes would water, I’d get red and shaky and stutter. It was one of the few times I would get completely lost. One time he even made me choke up so much he said he’d single me out again in a few minutes to think up a concept. Even though he meant it to be helpful, it wasn’t good for me. I was mortified.
I really don’t know where my switch flipped, but I seemed to have since gotten it together. My concepts aren’t about comparing peanut butter and jelly to dancing or pizza to a light, although some design students feel that the crazier the idea of the concept is, the better it is, I like to keep my concepts down to earth and frankly, more relatable.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been relating a lot of my concepts to something in my life. My first fully developed concept was relating Bolero to the parallel artist that painted his work perfectly and discussed the subject of brain disorders and how alzheimer’s affected not only their work, but the general public’s judgement on their artwork. I was fully enveloped in the subject obviously because of Sarah. I was able to show my passion for the concept because the way narrow-minded people judged Bolero’s piece was comparable to not only how the general public judged Sarah, but how I used to judge her as well when I was younger. I understood the lack of understanding. I loved being able to share with the class and my crits my passion for the subject without going into personal details about my family life.
My concept of light this semester took me a little longer to develop. Who can come up with a concept for something so straightforward? Light shines and guides. It’s pretty. It shows things. After gawking at the fact of how little I could brainstorm on the subject, I finally figured out a good explanation for light. I’m going to pull it from the paper I just spent all night writing:
"When researching different techniques on how to create experiences with the way light interacts with physical surfaces, consider how light alters one’s emotions and can create an unrealistic imagine in his or her mind. Although light can depict a direct path, the emotions circulating through a person can make them create an unrealistic memory. When light is directed into one small space, the darkness surrounding it can create a sense of fear that changes the mental state of mind of the person experiencing the space. When the direction of light forms a path, the light will eventually diffuse and expand, creating an opening. Someone travelling this path may experience a sense of relief because there is a clear ending, a complete resolution to the curiosity associated with the direction of the light."
That concept was developed much more thoroughly tonight than it was when it was due, but Daelo never asked us to present our projects and concepts. We just had to pin up and leave the room. It was probably for the best, because this was the perfect time to analyze what the hell I was thinking.
My concepts seem to be very deep and emotional, I like to find things that bring people’s emotions to the surface and let them really feel my ideas as well as listen.
Which brings me to my next point, my newest concept for my project of Shell Mound, Cedar Key, FL. The whole concept was based upon emotions and how they influence greatly the experience you have while there. I feel as though without emotions, you can’t have a real experience. And everyone has different emotions from one another, so everyone has a different experience.
I should just be a psychologist, hahaha.
But on a serious note, I need to get my shit together. A great concept is nothing without a model and vice versa. I have no clue how I’m going to have two done today and make it look like I put two weeks of work into it.